Talking About Mother's Day

Mothers are a special breed. Every woman does not, cannot and will not make a good mother. A woman who makes a conscious decision not to have children is a wise woman indeed. My mother was an absolute jewel. Our house was spotless and you could see your reflection in our highly-buffed wood floors. She would spend her entire weekends washing, starching and ironing our school clothes for the next week. She would leave us little surprises on Sunday mornings and would prepare the best Sunday morning breakfasts that included hot homemade rolls. Undoubtedly, she was a much better mother than I will ever be. Despite that fact, I work extremely hard at parenting and trying to ensure that my son will grow up to be a smart, strong, independent man with backbone. As mothers, and especially as black mothers, we tend to over protect our sons. We make our daughters learn how to cook, clean, sew, drive, bank, wash clothes, etc., but our sons are typically sheltered from these lessons and life's harsh realities. Young males need to understand that life is tough and that they will have to make difficult decisions. They need to understand that their decisions will come with consequences -- consequences they must be prepared to deal with. Parents should not be involved in the decisions of their grown sons and daughters. We should provide advice, if asked. I do not intend to allow myself or my husband to become "helicopter" parents. We will help our son navigate through life's difficulties teaching him basic life skills and how to solve problems. We must teach him responsibility so that when the time comes he can stand on his own two feet. We render a terrible disservice to our children when we allow them to become too dependent on us. So this mother's day -- I have been assured that I will have a day of rest -- I will use the time to reflect on my skills as a mother and strengthen my resolve to rear a strong, happy and successful man. Happy Mother's Day.